BIRTHING THE GODDESS WITHIN

   J. Alison Hilber

          Like many, maybe most people, when I think of “birth” I visualize the physical event…the surprise of the first pain, the waiting, the breaking of the water which is a sign of how much closer the birth is, the breathing that eases the pain, the courage of taking the next deep breath and pushing forward, moving the baby out into the world.

          But as tangible as those births are, thousands of other miracles of birth happen every day to every person, both female and male.  They are the result of the process of evolvement.  Every idea, every fantasy, every moment of enlightenment is like a physical birth.  The moment can be quiet and expected, or it can be hard, loud and surprising.  Not at all tangible, but every bit as significant and important as a physical birth. 

          I have had many miraculous revelations and life changes along my journey, and believe that my parenting skills have expanded and refined.  But there has been one “child” that has required constant nurturing, comfort and patience.  It is my body. Well, to be truthful, it isn’t about my body, it is about my perspective of my body.  As my spiritual teachers say, “The Universe is not responding to reality, it is responding to your perception of reality.”  And so it is with us all.  Our perception becomes our reality, no matter what other people may say or see.

          For most of my adult years, I have had a body that is, shall we say, out of sync with society’s standard.  I have devoted much of my personal energy finding peace and harmony between my outer body and my inner essence.  And quite often I have succeeded.  But since every thought that has ever been thought is still floating out there, the one that says my body isn’t good enough – and therefore neither am I – sometimes pops back into my stream of consciousness.  My avenues for dealing with this pesky thought when it arrives have been varied; sometimes it depresses me, sometimes it inspires me.  After years of struggle, I finally decided I preferred inspiration over depression.

          I now view those thoughts of my body with great appreciation, because when they arrive, they are telling me that I am not in alignment with my true self and alert me to shift my focus.

As I went through this process recently, I gave birth to a new inspired vision of my body, one that will now be nurtured and loved for its uniqueness.  I am, I have decided, the reincarnation and embodiment of the Venus Willendorf, whose image is well-known and documented to be among the ancient goddesses worshiped as a symbol of fertility and abundance.  And one of my purposes in being here is to remind the world of the time when women (and their bodies) were respected and revered no matter their size.

AND SO IT IS.

8/19/06

From "How to Be Yourself," by Rita Sherman (1992):

Do what you want, not what you want to want.

Don't worry about what you are; you are not a what.

Understand that you do not understand, that you will not understand, that you cannot understand.

Make your bed everyday.

Focus on the path, not the destination.

Do what you can.

When all else fails, take a bath.

Thank Source.

Dear Source:

   We struggle, we grow weary, we grow tired. We are exhausted, we are distressed, we despair. We give up, we fall down, we let go. We cry. We are empty, we grow calm, we are ready. We wait quietly.

   A small shy truth arrives. Arrives from without and within. Arrives and is born. Simple, steady, clear. Like a mirror, like a bell, like a flame. Like rain in summer. A precious truth arrives and is born within us. Within our emptiness.

   We accept it, we observe it, we absorb it. We surrender to our bare truth. We are nourished, we are changed. We are blessed. We rise up.

   For this we give thanks.

   And so it is.

( - Michael Leunig 1990)